Pour the Wine
by Cyanne
Summary: My Slayers fic debut! Amelia is depressed over Zelgadis' apparent lack of affection for her, and she decides to do something about it. What? Get drunk of course!


DISCLAIMER: YEP, HERE WE GO. I DO NOT OWN SLAYERS, IN ANY WAY, SHAPE  
OR FORM. AND I'VE ACCEPTED THAT. SO DON'T SUE ME.  
  
  
POUR THE WINE  
  
A SLAYERS FANFIC BY CYANNE  
  
(Author's Note on the rating: PG13 for one four-letter word. Come on, we all know Zelgadis  
swears once in a while! P.S. Yeah, so maybe Amelia is a tad OOC here--chalk it up to artistic  
license!)  
  
One irritable evening, Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun decided to try something new. She  
decided to get drunk. Nothing else had worked so far to make her forget that Zelgadis was clearly  
indifferent to her, and content to remain so. She thought she'd done everything she could to make  
him see that he was worthy of being loved, that she would be good for him, and that, deep down,  
he HAD to have SOME affection for her, didn't he? Didn't he?  
Well, apparently not. For once, she felt like she'd had enough. An unusual sense of futility  
was weighing her down tonight, and for once she wasn't in the mood to grin and bear it. When  
Lina, Gourry, and--wince--Zelgadis retired for the evening, the latter not even bothering to say  
'goodnight,' Amelia hung back, wandering over to the bar when she was sure her companions  
were out of sight. She sat down a stool with a sigh. She was tired of disappointment. If she  
thought anything more about the emotional mess her life had become since she had begun hinting  
of her feelings to Zelgadis, she felt would explode, or melt, or crumple into dust. Or something  
suitably horrible and unfortunate.   
She ordered a bottle of red wine from the bartender, flashing her Seyruun ID when he  
asked. He handed her a glass, and a large, ruby-colored bottle of liquid. Amelia filled one glass,  
hesitated briefly, then downed it as quickly as she could, trying not to wince at the dryness of the  
Zephilian wine. Then she refilled it and took another huge sip and a breath. Not bad so far. She  
wondered if she would start feeling dizzy, but so far she felt fine...aside from the lump of agony in  
her chest. She coughed and took another big sip.  
"Amelia-san, what are you doing?"  
She recognized the voice instantly, even though it seemed to come from nowhere. "Hello,  
Xellos-san. If you don't mind, I'd like to be alone."  
The mysterious priest materialized on the adjacent barstool, regarding her through his  
cat's-eyes. "As I can see. You are drinking to forget something, am I right?"  
Amelia frowned, staring at the table underneath her elbows. "Maybe. I'm sorry, but it's  
none of your business, Xellos-san. I'll be all right, I just need to be alone for a while."  
"Are you sure?" She raised her gaze to meet his, noting dimly that for once he didn't have  
his trademark smirk.   
"Yes, Xellos-san. And--" she added, remembering the priest's fondess for causing trouble,   
"please don't tell the others where I am."  
He nodded. "I'll just tell them it's a secret." Xellos grinned at his favorite words and  
vanished. Amelia blinked, surprised that he'd obeyed her wishes so promptly. She'd expected him  
to be much nosier than that, or at least try to take advantage of her negative emotions or  
something, as mazoku so loved to do. Amelia sighed again and took another swig, finishing the  
second glass, coughing again slightly, and then refilled her glass a third time. By this time her face  
had become hot, although she felt okay, and not quite as numb as she would have liked to be. "I  
must have a higher threshold than I thought," she pondered, taking a sip from her third glass.   
In front of her, the bartender pushed a full dish of what appeared to be some kind of nut.  
Amelia blinked in surprise at first, then realized that most people munched while drinking, and  
that she should do the same lest she betray her inexperience. Trying for nonchalance, she grabbed  
a handful and munched, noting that the nuts had no taste, or at least, not compared to the wine  
she was drinking  
"Amelia?"  
She groaned slightly at the annoyance, not totally conscious that she'd groaned aloud.  
"What is it?"  
She turned to see Lina Inverse, red-headed and frowning in her direction. "Xellos-san told  
you where I was, I suppose." She should have known not to give him any ideas about keeping  
secrets.  
"Actually, no, he just said it was a secret. So after I fried him, I came downstairs to look  
for you. What are you doing down here all alone?"  
"I guess I'm just not in the mood for company tonight, Lina-san."  
"I don't imagine, at the rate you're emptying that bottle," Lina replied shrewdly. "What's  
eating you, anyway? I've never seen you drink before." The 'bandit killer' sat down, picked up  
Amelia's glass and sampled it, raising her eyebrows and swallowing with a slight chuckle. "Wow,  
for a novice, you don't mess around."  
Amelia retrived her glass and took another sip, resting her chin on her palm. "I'd really  
rather not discuss it."  
"So it's about Zel, then." Lina said matter-of-factly.  
Amelia gaped, her heart pounding suddenly, then took another large gulp. She coughed  
again, turning scarlet, and began to pour herself another, when she felt Lina's hand on hers.  
"Whoah, Amelia, maybe you should slow down a bit. After all, you're not used to this  
stuff."  
Amelia shook off her hand and refilled the glass. "I've got to learn sometime, don't I? And  
right now I think I could use it."  
Lina sat back, regarding the stubborn princess, then sighed. "I hope he's worth it."  
Amelia almost choked again. "What do you mean--I mean....I don't know what you  
mean," she stammered, her face on fire.  
Lina regarded the melancholy young princess, folding her arms about her small but ample  
chest. "I mean, I hope Zel is worth all this crap you're going through. Because if he isn't..." she let  
the phrase hang in the air, "you're going to feel very foolish in the morning."  
"I don't care," Amelia mumbled. "I'm doing this for me, not for him."  
Lina patted her on the back, lightly. "Okay, sweetie, but take it easy okay? We're off at  
dawn tomorrow, and if I have to Dragon Slave your butt out of bed I will."  
"I know," Amelia managed a faint grin at Lina. "Don't tell Gourry, will you?"  
"Of course not. Jellyfish brains wouldn't understand anyway." Lina gave her a grin that  
was oddly compassionate. "Enjoy yourself, but drink some water afterwards." She got up and left.  
Amelia took another sip. The wine was beginning to affect her, most certainly. Her brain  
felt fuzzy, slowed down, one thought at a time. And that one thought was how much a fool she  
had been.  
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" she mumbled to herself, snagging a few more nuts.They were  
addictive, tasteless or not. She crunched down on them, for the first time slightly frightened of the  
effect the alcohol was having on her. She'd never had more than one glass of wine before, and  
never without having dinner beforehand. It crossed her mind that she was doing something  
entirely irresponsible, even--dare she think it--unjust, but another part of her, the slightly drunk  
part, stomped on that first part and said, "I don't give an airborne rodent's behind."  
She took another long swig.  
"Amelia?" His usual low tone was pitched almost an octave higher in shock.  
"Not again," she moaned. "Can't anybody keep a secret around here?" And then she  
thought, oh Cephied. For him to see her in this state...it was beyond embarrassing. She wasn't  
sure she could bear it. She started to take another sip to give herself courage.  
A cool hand stopped her, coiling the upraised glass in an iron grip. She felt the pebbles  
that sprinkled his hand and set the glass down, doing her best to avoid pouting.  
"What is your problem?" the princess snapped with uncharacteristic ire. "I'm old enough to  
drink, by Seyruun Law."   
Zelgadis moved the glass away from her. "But you're obviously not old enough to know  
how to do it," he countered, matching her sharp tone. "You're going to make yourself sick."  
She growled slightly and moved away from him. "What do you care, anyway?"  
Even in her slightly drunken state, she felt him recoil. "Amelia, I think you've had enough."  
"Bull," she snapped, snatching the glass away from him and taking a defiant swig. "You  
should know, of all people, how much I need this right now."  
She turned and faced him, daring him to deny her, waiting to see the flash of recognition in  
his eyes. No matter that she was behaving with utter cowardice; she wanted him to see how much  
he'd hurt her, how he was responsible for her current state. But instead, all she saw was slight  
anger and frustration in his eyes.  
"Fine, if you want to play it that way," Zelgadis said, and waved over the bartender.  
"Another glass, please."  
Amelia stole another sip, finishing her glass, watching him beneath her eyelashes. She  
watched as he poured himself a glass of what she was drinking, finishing the bottle, and took a  
long sip. He swallowed, then turned to her, lifting the glass only slightly. "Zephilian---nice  
choice."  
And he drained the cup.  
She knew what he was doing; he was trying to stop her from drinking any more. He was  
worried about her, he didn't think she could take it. She felt like a small child in his care, a small,  
rebellious child. Damn him, Amelia thought. I'm only one year younger than Lina, and she can  
down a jug of ale and nobody blinks an eye. But when I do it...she was angry, she realized and  
that only egged on her depression.   
"Bartender! Another bottle, please, same year." And she tossed her ID on the table  
defiantly, asserting her right to drink herself silly no matter what her companion thought. I'm the  
Princess of Seyruun, she thought. It's my royal right to get drunk if I want to.  
The somewhat disturbed bartender brought a second bottle, avoiding the death-glare  
Zelgadis was giving him and accepting the money Amelia tossed on the table, far more than was  
necessary for payment, even for a tip. She regarded the chimera and read in his eyes: a challenge,  
then?  
She answered: you're damn right.  
Twenty minutes later, two thirds of the second bottle was gone, and Amelia was fully  
experiencing the state of drunkenness for the first time. The room shivered around her,  
threatening to spin if she let her eyes move too quickly. But at the same time was a kind of  
delicious lightness that made her feel as if she was floating above her earlier problems, as if they  
were no more real than a daydream. She felt thick, insulated, and safe.  
Of course, her problems would have seemed even less real if the object of her turmoil  
hadn't been seated next to her, imbibing the same liquor and showing none of the effects, aside  
from a possible increase in melancholia that hung on him like an iron cape (although anyone who  
knew Zelgadis would have had to look closer to see the difference). Infuriatingly, Zelgadis  
seemed his same, stony self, but his steely gray eyes watched the princess, who was now tracing  
faint circles in the hardwood of the bar beneath her hands.  
"So this is what it's like," she murmured, tracing a figure eight in the whorls of the wood  
beneath her fingers. "Being drunk. I can see why people seek it."  
Zelgadis frowned disappovingly at her and slammed his glass down on the table. "Enjoy it  
now, Amelia, because this is only the first stage. Alcohol may feel nice at first, but it comes with a  
price." When she looked at him in surprise, her dulled attention drawn by his sudden movements,  
he continued darkly, "It can make you sick, if you're not careful. If you take my advice---no,  
rather if you don't want to be sick as a dog in the morning, you'd better start drinking water  
instead of wine."  
"Oh, what do you know," she grumbled, even though Lina had given her the same advice.  
She reached for the cup of refillled nuts, and continued, "I've seen you drink plenty of wine,  
Zelgadis-san, and you've never complained of a headache the morning after."   
"Don't you think," Zelgadis countered acidly, "that I've had enough time to get used to  
drinking my sorrows away without making myself ill?"  
"You and your Almighty Sorrow," Amelia snapped, fed up. "Did you ever think that I  
might have had my share of sorrow too? You're not the only one with problems, you know."   
Zelgadis' expression darkened, but he let it go. "You have definitely had enough," he  
retorted icily. "Bartender," he called without even raising his voice. Nonetheless the bartender  
came. "A glass of water for her."  
"Yes, sir."  
Amelia stirred restlessly, angrily, reaching for her glass and shoving it away when she  
realized it was empty. "I'm not a child, you know. I know my limits."  
The bartender set down the glass of cold water, and Zelgadis pushed it toward her. "The  
hell you do. Drink."  
Pursing her lips petulantly, she picked up the glass and sipped, then again. The cold water  
was curiously refreshing after the warm tang of the wine. "You think you know everything," she  
grumbled, hating that he was right.  
He heard her, and answered. "So do you."  
Amelia finished the glass of water and set it down on the counter. Through the corner of  
her eye she saw Zelgadis motion the bartender to bring another, and another surge of annoyance  
rose in her. She got up quickly, almost overturning the barstool. "I'm FINE!" she almost shouted,  
not noticing the heads that were turning toward her. "I don't need your help, and I'm going to bed  
BY MYSELF!" And she flounced off toward the stairs, trying to ignore the sparkly things twirling  
around her.  
A few hoots sounded around the room, some knowing chuckles and grins in Zelgadis'  
direction. The chimera turned a deep crimson, and he gritted his teeth, but nonetheless kept his  
eyes on the girl feeling her way toward the staircase as if she were blind. Amelia paused for a  
moment while the world shimmered around her, then took a few, cautious steps up the stairs.   
  
Zelgadis watched her unsteady steps with concern, torn between embarassment and anger  
at Amelia for losing control of herself. A few of the other men in the bar were still laughing, and a  
few offerred suggestions which made Zelgadis' hands itch to cast a fireball. He wanted to turn  
away, retreat again into himself, but he was worried about Amelia making it up the stairs on her  
own, especially with all those other men watching. Stupid girl, he thought, she has no idea what  
she's done to herself. To see the princess of Seyruun in such a state was quite disturbing; she had  
never shown the slightest inclination for such foolish behavior--a kind he unfortunately knew only  
too well. It baffled him; Amelia had always seemed to resist sadness with all her might. What  
could have affected her this much? To see her so pitiful, so much in pain, hurt him on some level  
as well. She's too young to feel such pain, he thought.  
Amelia made it up the steps with surprising grace and further managed to make it to her  
room. Zelgadis got up and followed her, ignoring the cheers that erupted from the bar below.  
Drunken idiots.   
The princess of Seyruun flung her door wide open and shuffled toward her bed. She  
flopped on it fully clothed and snuggled into her pillow with soft sigh. Zelgadis stopped at the  
open doorway, suddenly hesitant. If Lina or Gourry caught him going into Amelia's room at night,  
he'd never hear the end of it. Lina already teased them enough as it is. But... She can't sleep like  
that, with no covers on, he thought. It's freezing in here. He took one last sweep of the deserted  
hallway, then darted inside.   
Making no sound as he crept toward her bed, he leaned over to pull the thick blanket over  
her small, almost-sleeping frame. She looked so vulnerable that he briefly wondered if he should  
spend the night in the chair across the room; she was in no state to defend herself should someone  
try to break in. But compassion got the best of him, as he realized that Amelia would probably not  
want to remember that he had seen her in this state. And with the amount of wine she had  
ingested that evening, it was unlikely that she would remember much at all. Zelgadis felt another  
strange twinge of pain; her words echoed in his head, 'you of all people should know how much I  
need this right now.' Did that mean that she was hurting like this because of him? Because he tried  
to ignore the fact that she seemed to have a crush on him? He was only being realistic. She was so  
young, her...affection for him had to be temporary. It was a girlish whim, and someday she'd see  
that, and feel foolish about the way she'd behaved. He was just trying to save her the pain and  
embarrassment of that realization.   
That was what he kept telling himself, anyway.  
And his affection for her, which was growing every day no matter how much he ignored  
it...that was as doomed as her schoolgirl illusions. For the thousandth time, Zelgadis wondered  
how anyone could remain so innocent of the true face of the world. He had been almost her age  
when Rezo turned him into a grotesque chimera, and he had lost his own idealism quickly enough.  
The world was shit, and the faster she realized it, the more capable she would be to deal with it.  
But...not now, he sighed. She was not ready to deal with such darkness. Her innocence  
shone through, and the difference between them was almost physically painful. Perhaps I love her,  
he mused, because she embodies my lost innocence.  
He regarded the sleeping princess solemnly, not envying her the pain awaiting her upon  
awakening, both from her youth, and this nightly rest which she needed so badly.  
"I'm sorry, Amelia," he whispered to her still form. "I'm sorry I hurt you this much."  
She stirred slightly in her slumber, then reached out a pale hand in an unmistakable  
gesture. Automatically he offered his own, and she clasped it firmly. Her eyes opened faintly,  
revealing cloudy blue depths. "Zelgadis-san..." she murmured.   
"What is it?" he answered, wondering if she could actually hear him or if she was simply  
dreaming.  
"Don't tell Lina-san and Gourry-san."  
He almost laughed with relief. "Of course not. It'll be our secret."  
She smiled, and her lids closed. "Thank you."  
He smiled back, even though she could not see him. "No problem." He tucked her in, and  
she curled around her covers, seeking warmth in the soft bed.   
Zelgadis felt a surge of almost ovewhelming protectiveness, as if she were an early  
blossom to be tended carefully, lest its fragile beauty fall victim to the winter chill. "And I'm the  
winter," he murmured ruefully.  
In a surge of warmth (maybe it was the aftermath of the wine) he leaned forward and  
kissed her forehead, lightly but with more tenderness than he had shown to anyone in his life. And  
in her sleep, she smiled.  
  
THE END 


End file.
